if all of the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops, oh what a rain it would be…Part II

A snapshot of my journal…PART II

May 21st: Part II, Day I

– Overwhelmed.

– People everywhere.  Walking.  On motorbikes.  On bicycles.  Animals everywhere.  Poverty everywhere.

– Tiny storefronts selling everything imaginable.  Food.  Shoes.  Furniture.  Bikes.  Building supplies.  You know.  Etc.

– It is so hard for me to take pictures.  I love taking pictures and want to so badly.  I don’t want to forget what I have seen, which will be impossible I’m sure.  I want to show others what is present here.  I want to tell them stories.  But to put my stupid camera into someone’s life to do so is so hard.  Goodness knows how much I love my picture being taken.

– I am so privileged.  I have no right at all to think that I can pry into the lives of people that I do not know.  And so wrong to think I know how they live and what life is like for them.

– Humbled.  

– After leaving the city of Kampala the scenery became greener.  So lush and so beautiful. Houses changed from being made of scrap wood and tin to being constructed from grass, mud and bricks.

– People are seen working land.  Backbreaking manual labor.  People clearing debris from the dirt.  Children watching each other and working along side their parents.

– It is hard for be to imagine that the majority of people here are concerned about having enough food and water for life.  I have so many selfish needs that are truly wants.

– Many people were waving as we entered Lira.  So many.  

–  Although not as populated as Kampala, Lira was still the sight of immense poverty.  It is still incomprehensible to me and I never think it will be.  I can’t even begin to imagine what their life is like and honestly I hope that I never pretend to.  I hope not to become a snobby girl who thins she is well traveled and in the know about the world’s problems.  I would hate to come back from this thinking anything but humbling thoughts.  I would hate to say “I understand, because I have seen.” How naïve?! What ounce of me can think I understand this because I don’t and never will.  Ahhhh.  But I want to help so badly but it is so obvious that I can’t.  This is so much bigger than what I know and what I can do anything about.  I am so insignificant.  My voting record even reflects my feelings of insignificance.  I begin to question the ways I live.  Do I act entitled? Yes Do I think selfish thoughts most if not all of the time? Yep.  Do I give unconditionally? No.  Do I love others the way that I am loved and have been called to love? No.  So change is necessary.  Many issues inside myself must change.  I am being reformed.  Like the changes that need to take place inside of me.  Change needs to occur in the developing world.  In order for change to take place, problems must be presented and be made aware.  Thankfully our documentary will be doing some of the witnessing for us when we return.  But what about after the documentary is presented? We must continue to remind others and ourselves around us to be aware of the problems we live in.  We must change the way we live to do everything out of love.  If all of the people poured love out on one another, oh what a world it would be.

– Beautiful children! Smiling! Laughing! Trusting! Spending time with these children adds so much joy to my day.  I might get tired but seeing them changes my whole mood and outlook.  This trip is a wake up call to change my outlook and myself.

– The food that we have been able to eat has been wonderful.  But I am so gluttonous.  I am often thinking of the next meal.  And options at the next meal.  Not whether or not I will eat.  But stinking options.

– I have no idea what it means to be hungry. Thirsty.  Cold.  Hot.  Tired.  Complaining of such things must stop.  I have nothing to complain about.  Nothing at all.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *