Freak out!

So, today we had “reflection,” which is apparently when we all sit in a circle and listen to music and share our feelings. We were told this was the first of many reflections we’ll do.

When I first sat down for reflection, my first thought was, ‘I hope this goes fast, because I have about 50 million things to do tonight.’ But then came the music. My memory fails me when I try to recall the title or musician, but I remember it was about witnessing and it was one of those songs that made me think too much. And then my emotions went from anxiety to straight fear.

We had spent a good part of the day filming and analyzing our practice films, and it was not pretty. We forgot to focus the camera, check the white balance, lock the tripod, not talk, and the list goes on. But that was it. We didn’t have any more time to practice filming. We leave tomorrow and we only have two weeks in Uganda to collect footage that has to be good, or our documentary will suck. True story.

Excitement. Anxiety. Fear. I can pinpoint the exact moments when I transitioned from one emotion to the next. Cue excitement on the first day of class. Cue anxiety when I realized I had 80 pages to read last night and I just wanted to sleep. Cue fear midway through the reflection song today.

I have accepted that none of the above actually matters now, though. I’m leaving for the airport in 12 hours and I’m just going to have to do my best to not only capture some great footage, but also appreciate my relatively short amount of time in Africa. Welp, wish me luck!

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