Anger. Defeat. Annoyance.
Tonight I spent what felt like hours crafting the perfect blog post to succinctly wrap up my first two days of this experience, and a slip of the thumb erased all of my hard work. I threw the iPad at my air mattress out of equal parts shock and exhaustion. After having been awake since 3:45 this morning to shoot b-roll, I had a long day of working hard, all for my blog post to disappear forever. ‘You don’t deserve this.’ were the exact words that crossed my mind.
You don’t deserve this.
It’s been a long two days — a long two days of hearing stories of people that have lost loved ones, possessions, limbs, and dignity fighting for something that they believe they deserve, and still, I was so worked up about losing probably an hours worth of work. I asked myself in exasperation whether or not I should stay awake to rewrite the post because I deserve as much sleep as I can get, and yet the people we met over these past two days at the Kino Border Initiative may very well be settling down for their night’s sleep in a box in a back alley right this second.
Guilt. Complication. Perspective.