I’m not exactly sure what to make of this feeling I’ve had today. It’s 3am in the morning, I can’t sleep due to my internal clock thinking it’s around 11am, and I’ve been feeling this way ever since I landed in Eppley around nine hours ago.
Adjustment is a pretty close friend of mine. Having moved 13 times in my life, I became pretty good at being able to adjust to new situations and lifestyle changes. On top of that, between my parents being ultimate tourists and my proprietary strain of travel itch, I’ve taken lots of trips to different places, and have gotten used to the feeling of coming back from that kind of trip. Usually, I take a shower, eat a meal I missed, then within a few hours it’s back to how things were before, and besides knowing a little bit more about some place I just came back from, things are pretty much the same as before.
This feels different though. It doesn’t feel the same as it usually does when I come back from a trip. I can’t really pinpoint when it happened, but I feel different. I feel something changed in me back in Uganda, something that has changed the way I look at things around me. I was pretty unhappy before I went to Uganda, and I couldn’t really figure out why. The strange thing is, all the things I was dreading about being back are still here, yet it doesn’t make me feel the way it did before. Now, I feel a kind of inner strength that allows me to see past all the little things that used to worry me to death. I feel like my eyes see a little bit clearer, or that I somehow just know something that I didn’t know before.
Maybe it was the fact that we saw poverty everywhere, or the fact that we met people whose lives are vastly different from our own, or the fact that I know that those kids I played with who were wearing tattered shirts and looked like they were barely surviving are still there right now. All I know is, I was brushing my teeth and was annoyed that the water was too hot, and realized that I wouldn’t be able to look at things the same way again.