During my most optimistic moments, I think I can help the world, even if only in the most infinitesimal way, but most of the time I feel the way I did driving around Uganda.
Powerless. Helpless. Sad. Angry. At times, paralyzingly so.
Our mini-doc project in the poor communities of the Dominican Republic in 2010 brought many of those feelings back. I returned to the States with a new commitment to reduce my carbon footprint and live more simply, but feel I failed to make any significant changes in my life.
I wondered if I was starting to give up.
I tend to grow armor to protect myself against these feelings of pessimism, cynicism and hopelessness. The impact of my time spent in developing countries wanes over time and I feel more and more numb to its impact and significance.
Still, I am determined to try and keep my cynicism in check and find new ways I can do something productive.
I don’t think my system can take more cynicism.