Where do you want me to serve you?

Women's Shelter Nogales, Sonora
Women’s Shelter Nogales, Sonora

Several nights following dinner we would have reflections where we were invited to share whatever it was we were feeling or thinking after our various interviews and experiences from the day.

During these reflections I often struggled to find the right words because I felt like I was taking in so many new perspectives and I didn’t have time to process everything I was feeling. I always wanted to say something really important, really well spoken. I wanted my statements to match and justify everything I was feeling, but they never seemed to.

A lot of times as I sat there though, racking my brain for what to say, I kept coming back to the same question for myself: Now what, Aly? What are you going to do to fix what you’ve seen?

As a college student, I spend so much time looking into possible job opportunities for the future and focusing on finding the best internship that will help me land the perfect career. I have been so driven throughout my whole college experience to be a successful student, hoping that in turn, someday I’ll be a prosperous employee.

But once you see injustice and it strikes you, there’s no unseeing it. During one of the reflections I remember literally being stopped in my tracks and in my thought process. I realized that when I returned back to Omaha everything I had planned in my upcoming future did nothing to help the injustice I was witnessing.

I would return to my summer internship. I would study for the LSAT. I would prepare for my sister’s wedding. And when the summer came to a close, I would dedicate my time and energy to school and enjoying my senior year.

For me, this was a really tough pill to swallow. All of a sudden, all of my priorities seemed so stupid and meaningless and selfish in comparison to the reality so many others were facing.

This concept is still something I’m really struggling with. How does one continue with their daily life and pursuing their goals, while not neglecting the world’s suffering?

I’ve been trying to figure out how I’ll answer this question. Each time I think about it the Servant Song comes to mind.

What do you want of me, Lord?

Where do you want me to serve you?

Where can I sing your praises.

I am your song.

Jesus, Jesus, you are the Lord.

Jesus, Jesus, you are the way.

One thought on “Where do you want me to serve you?

  1. Aly, what a beautiful post. That feeling uncomfortable in your own skin is hard. Figuring things out is hard. What you want to do with your life and your time is still good and valuable. Here’s my mantra: Do what you can where you are. Wherever you are.

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